Sunday, April 20, 2008

Is there anyone still out there?

I feel as if I have alienated my already dwindling audience. I am sorry I have not written a post in over a month. I have been kinda busy trying to find a job. Still looking by the way. Yesterday afternoon I did my last work in Law School writing a Charitable Remainder Unitrust, Client letter, and an Advance Healthcare Directive. This is all for my Will and Trust Drafting Class. Now have I alienated the rest of you? I said all that to say I have no real excuse for not updating my blog.

I have a question. Why can't we make some kinda fuel out of trees/wood? Ethanol and biodiesel are made from corn, used cooking oil, or sugar. Seems to me that wood would have enough of these sugars to make some sort of fuel. I know sticks and turpentine burn which are both wood products. The obvious problem to me would be pollution, but if they can make clean burning coal, why not wood? Just a thought.

Also, we have begun to honor our future overlords: http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/24181778/.
This is mostly a joke. Some honorees have been R2D2, C3PO, Lt. Cmdr. Data, and Hal. Hal? We are now honoring computer who tried to kill its human masters. Its one thing to laugh at my previous posts pointing out the problems with increasing robot intelligence, but honoring Hal? This is a bad omen.

Thats all I have right now. Sorry.

-J

Monday, March 3, 2008

More Anti-Hillary Thoughts

I guess we can all see where this blog is going if Hillary does get elected...

This particular post in in regards to Hillary's recent media whoring. Hillary had a guest spot on Saturday Night Live last Saturday. I actually find it difficult to look at her because she makes me so angry. Also, last week she appeared on another New York favorite, the Late Show with David Letterman.

On Letterman, Hillary came on in a spot and said, "If you go to Hillaryclinton.com right now you can find my recipe for Snicker doodle Cookies." So, I, a cookie fan, decided to give it a shot and went to her website. Sure enough, there was a recipe for Snicker doodle cookies on her front page (it is not on her front page any longer). To Hillary's credit, she actually told the truth on Letterman. There is a first time for everything. I believe this whole chain of events is a microcosm for why Hillary should not be President.

The first thing is that when I clicked on the recipe, it came up as Cat Cora's Snicker doodle recipe. Hillary could not even tell the truth about whose recipe it was! Seriously? Yes, seriously. How can we trust a President who is lying to our faces about cookies? What would it have hurt her to say, "If you want a GOOD Snicker doodle recipe go to my website."? I know you may think I just misheard it. Thank you youtube, here is the link: http://youtube.com/watch?v=rfTmE4NGdX8. I just think it is pretty telling that she could not even tell the truth about this. For your further reading pleasure here is a list of ways to identify a pathological liar: http://wiki.answers.com/Q/How_can_you_tell_if_someone_is_a_pathological_liar
(As a post script to this first problem I am now putting Cat Cora, a Mississippian, on notice of a boycott for supporting someone who maligned her home state so badly. If Cat keeps selling out her fellow Mississippians, she shall feel my wrath.)

The second problem I had with Cookiegate is the fact that she put a cookie recipe on her website at all. Hillary is supposed to be representing enlightened, empowered women on par with any man. It makes me wonder how many Presidential candidates in history have felt that they needed a cookie recipe to garner votes. It reminds me when about a year ago, the Women Law Student group had a bake sale to raise funds for something. Seriously, pick a gender role. Either be liberated or don't, you cannot be everything. If I were a woman, I think I would feel a little betrayed by all of Hillary's crying and Cookiegate.

That's all I have to say at the moment.

-J

Wednesday, February 20, 2008

MSinformed 2008 Primary

On March 11, 2008, according to our new Secretary of State Delbert Hosemann (a MSinformed 2007 pick) we are going to have ourselves a little primary election. Now, previously I told you all who I thought you should vote for. Today, I am going to tell you who you shouldn't vote for. It should be of no suprise, that I can think of nothing worse than Hillary Clinton as our next President.

In the Republican race, it is of no consequence who anyone in Mississippi votes for because Senator McCain is going to win. I predict Huckabee will carry Mississippi anyway. However in March the race between Obama and Clinton will still be very relevant. I am sure both candidates will come to Mississippi. I expect my home state to welcome them both with open arms. However, I also expect my home state to remember Hillary's comments insulting the State of Mississippi when she was pandering to voters in Iowa. If you don't remember here is a link: http://blogs.abcnews.com/politicalpunch/2007/10/what-is-hillary.html

I made sure to use a major media outlet such as ABC news because I did not want any conservative "slant" to come off in this. This outrage we should all have toward Hillary should be without regard for political party, race, or sex. I am not going to get into this too much more because I feel my mind filling with rage. But please, do not reward Hillary for vitriol. If anything after the last 7 years we should all realize the United States needs a President who will unite the nation, and not try to divide it for personal gain.

-J

Saturday, February 16, 2008

My Anthropology Theory, EA Sports Lets You Decide, and Other Musings


Hello again,


Recently the Westminster Dog Show has been all over the news. Uno a beagle, won best in show. This was suprisingly the first ever win for a beagle. However, the media made it a little too big of a deal. The beagle is recognizable to most every American. From reports I have heard, the beagle has been in the top ten list of breeds in American homes for the last 100 years. And if you are not aware (because you had your head in a hole) Snoopy is also a beagle. But contrary to many media reports, I do not believe Snoopy is proud of Uno. My reasoning? Snoopy is FAKE.

This recent ad nauseum coverage of dogs, especially Uno, in the media led me to come up with an Anthropological Theory. The theory is, "If we had to today, humans would be incapable of domesticating dogs." (editor's note: I am writing the boring piece first because I want you to read it before you get to the fun) When dogs were first domesticated from wolves, humans existed in a similar pack structure. There would have been one alpha male, a number of subordinates, females, and children. Therefore, when a wolf cub was raised by humans, it was a power structure the wolf could easily fit. The alpha male, or chieftan of the tribe would operate as the top of the hierarchy, so the wolf would never attack him. The subordinate males would exert their dominance over the wolf in the hierarchy also thereby putting the wolf in its place. It is obvious today that humans have lost the ability to put a dog in its place... That is why when someone keeps a wolf in a neighborhood as a pet, it invaribly escapes and gnaws off someones face. Luckily, our ancestors did the dirty work for us because we could not do it today.




Behold look into the eyes of a killer!

(I would like to note that to get this photo to appear in the proper place, I had to actually edit the HTML script. There is a first time for everything)




Second on the agenda is NCAA 2009 for Nintendo Wii. Not only will this be the first NCAA football game for the Wii, but it will also have a mascot on the cover. And EA Sports is letting America decide on which mascot to use. This brings up two things: 1) MSU's Bully mascot could actually be on the cover of a videogame sold all over the United States; and 2) Ole Miss doesn't have an official mascot, so they are out of luck. You can vote once per day. Here is the link:



Finally, I read an article this week that was not by itself funny, but the pictures accompanying the article are hilarious (and strange). It is the article from England that caught some play here in the States, regarding the World's Smallest Bodybuilder. The humor to me is not necessarily that idea, but the gentleman in question himself. He has terrible bleach blonde hair, a nasty mustache like kids have in Junior High to "look cool," and an absolutely no nonsense look on his face. Here is the link: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/pages/live/articles/news/worldnews.html?in_article_id=513820&in_page_id=1811

The picture of the other bodybuilder holding him in his hand reminds me of this picture: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/pages/live/articles/news/worldnews.html?in_article_id=492264&in_page_id=1811


Now my article has come full circle, bookended by dogs (nice work if I do say so). Also, note that both of those articles are from the Daily Mail in the UK which just goes to show you, there is actually nothing else worth writing about in the UK (but wait Jeremy, didn't this blog start by writing about your trip to the UK? Yes, quite a paradox).

-J





Sunday, February 3, 2008

Alas, There Can be Only One Egg Bowl

Back in November, the Mississippi State offense suddenly woke up with about 6 minutes left in the game. In a flurry of scoring, the Bulldogs put 17 straight points on the board to win the game, sending the tens of thousands of MSU fans at the game into ecstacy.

A similar situation occurred on Saturday, February 2, 2008. Mississippi State's offense woke up with about 6 minutes left in the game. They even had similar deficit. This time the comback would fall short. Tennessee, playing as well as any team in the US, answered many of MSU's scores and defended the rest. Within the final minute, MSU had one chance to go ahead and one chance to tie. Riley Benock, who seemingly had a wide open shot, decided to pump-fake and pass. He traveled. Benock has shown himself to be a sharpshooter from anywhere on the court and until that point had been very dependable with the basketball. He is just a freshman. I certainly do not blame him for the loss. In fact, I would prefer he start over Turner, simply because he does take such good care of the ball. I have more on Benock in a second. Then team leader Jamont Gordon had a fairly good look from the top of the three-point line and just missed the shot. Lets face it, he is no Michael Jordan. He is a major reason State even made it back into that game. He did not make the game winning shot, but he was very much responsible for making sure we had a chance, so no fault can be put on him. So then, after such a rough week I think many Bulldog fans, like myself want to know who to blame. And I (who can't play basketball to save my life) have a very simple answer. Nobody and everybody.

I think the simple problem in the last two games is shooting. Not that State did not shoot a decent percentage, but that they didn't shoot. In the Tennessee game, State shot 16 less times than Tennessee. If State would have made 46% of those shots they would have scored 7 more points. That would have been a win. Now in the Arkansas game, Arkansas shot 12 more times than MSU. At 40% shooting that would have only accounted for about 4 points. Of course the game was a 20 point blowout, but who knows if those extra points would have changed the dynamic of the game. This goes back to Benock. He didn't shoot at all. He scored 12 on 4 threes against Ole Miss, yet continually passed up open shots against Tennessee. The crowd knew it too. They booed him at one point for passing up the shot. Again, I don't blame it on Benock, I think it is something that should be worked on by the whole club, staff and players. You can't score unless you shoot.

After the game, I expected today's headlines on ESPN and other publications to read something like exposed or overrated or something like that. But instead they seemed to signal repsect. I think many pundits now realize that if MSU makes it to the dance (which is looking less likely unless they make a deep run in the SEC tourney), they will be a tough put out. So, I guess that is a good thing.

Well, at least it was a good day for the Redskins (as good as it can be when the Giants are playing in the Superbowl and you have no coach). Art Monk and Darrell Green were selected for the Hall of Fame. The honor was long overdue for Monk. Unsuprisingly, it was Green's first time on the ballot. Unsuprisingly because he is the best NFL Cornerback ever (eat that Deion). So, congrats to them.

I was gonna write about something else, but I forgot what that was so, enjoy the Superbowl.

-J

Wednesday, January 23, 2008

Two Entries in One Month!

Hello again. I figured it was time to update everyone on things that have been bothering me lately. In case anyone was wondering, blogger has added the option of writing one's blog in Arabic. Since I don't wish for this blog to show up on any FBI or CIA list, (and I have no idea how to read or write in Arabic) I think I will stick to the Roman alphabet (with Js and Us of course)(yes that was a nerd joke, I do have a minor in Classical studies).

The first thing on my mind is something that has been bothering me for at least a year. What is the deal with the constant bathing of produce in the grocery? Way back in the day I remember seeing the produce guy spritzing the produce once in a blue moon. Now they almost all have automatic mist sprayers that are more akin to an irrigation system than a squirt bottle. I assume that the spraying of the veggies keeps the colors more vibrant and perhaps fresher. There is something to be said about this in small doses, like a guy with a squirt bottle. But, I refuse to believe lettuce needs a swamp like environment to remain fresh. I am pretty sure that around the green onion section at Kroger here in Oxford, a cypress tree is beginning to sprout. I am unafraid to shake as much of the excess water off of my vegetables, especially lettuce. This generally not only sprays water around everywhere but also throws leaves into the floor (and embarasses Nicole). I am fine with that. As far as I am concerned that is the price the store pays. The other problem is that I am not really sure how these sprayers are timed, but I am pretty sure they are programed to start spraying when I reach my hand into the case to grab something. It never fails, it is like some grocery executive saw me running through a sprinkler when I was four and thought "Hmm maybe he would appreciate this while he is at the grocery in 23 years. Well I don't.

By the way. I decided this week that I would like to be back in England right now. But I am not.

There is a Quiznos commercial with Michael Clarke Duncan talking about their flat bread "sammys." Here is a picture of Michael Clarke Duncan: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Image:Dunkenkingpin.png
This is amusing to me because its funny to picture this giant man saying the word "sammy." Hopefully this thought will get you through some cold day.*

Since there does not seem to be any end to the writer's strike forthcoming, I would recommend everyone watching the reruns of 30 Rock when they come on. That is probably the funniest show on TV right now.

Anyway, that's about it for today.

-J

* FYI after posting this I looked at Michael Clarke Duncan's entry on Wikipedia to find out he went to Alcorn State for a while. I find that interesting.

Friday, January 4, 2008

Christmas, Anniversary, and the New Year

Whew, its been over a month since I have made an entry. Sorry.

Nicole and I had a very nice Christmas. We split time between Meridian and New Orleans. This of course gave us the opportunity to see much of our family and some friends we have not seen since the wedding. Add on our two days in Memphis and we pretty much saw everyone. Also in Memphis we went to the Liberty Bowl and OOOOHHHHHH the Bulldogs won, shutting up the very obnoxious Central Florida fans next to us. Its hard to understand how a UCF fan could legitimately be obnoxious. I have had to deal with it from LSU and Alabama fans my whole life, but, both of those programs have had tons of success. I could even take an obnoxious Vandy fan. At least they play good competition. On a final UCF note, Kevin Smith is pretty good. He would have probably gotten 1000 yards if he was in the SEC (of course in CUSA he nearly broke the single season record).

Also, while in Memphis we got to enjoy the hospitality of my cousin Ashley and cousin-in-law Chris. It is kinda strange to remember Ashley as a kid, (or atleast a teen) and then as the college student who would come to visit us in Meridian and eat our popcorn, having seen her now in her current state as a mother and hostess. She performed both roles very well in the time we spent with her. Her two children, Sydney and Clayton, are as adorable as the day is long. This is the first time we have gotten to see Clayton since he has gained a personality, now being 2 years old. I was fairly impressed with the number of words he knows. I think his two favorites are Football and Eat.

Speaking of Football- Hail to the Redskins hottest team (atleast in the NFC) in football. Watch out lame Seahawks.

We spent our anniversary in Gatlinburg. It was a nice time. This was Nicole's first enjoyable trip there; I have had many such trips. We stayed at the Four Sisters' Inn. It was very nice. The inn is located about two blocks off of the middle of the main strip there. It is brand new and the staff (Jackie) was really nice and helpful. I am not getting paid for this endorsement. We ate at Maxwell's, the New Orleans Sandwich Company, and North China. They were all very good. The New Orleans Sandwhich Company has very good onion rings.

We rang in the New Year in Gatlinburg also. They do a pretty decent fireworks show. They drop a ball and shoot fireworks from the giant space needle in the middle of town. That apparently is the only reason to come to Gatlinburg during that particular time of the year because its too cold to do any of the summer stuff and too warm for the skiing. We bought some hot sauce and beef jerky though. That stuff is always there. I also conquered a childhood fear: The Mysterious Mansion haunted house. I went when I was really little and was so scared I had to leave before we really made it in. Unfortunately, the haunted house was pretty cheesy and lame. Luckily I went through with a couple of Russian girls who were scared out of their minds. That was kinda funny.

Thats pretty much it. I have pictures of all of this, which I will post as soon as I find the cord to connect the camera to my pc.

-J